


Sawing Logs

by banjkazfan



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Exhaustion, Headcanon, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Mild Language, No Spoilers, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10053239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banjkazfan/pseuds/banjkazfan
Summary: “Gladio.  For gods’ sakes.  Can’t you do something about it?”  Noctis attempted to stoke the fire back to life as he glowered up at the Shield.  “He’syourboyfriend.”“I could,” Gladio said easily, “but I don’t think you and Prompto would wanna hear it.”It didn't happen often, but when Ignis snored, nobody slept.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to winemum-ignis over on tumblr because she put up with me sharing my ridiculous idea about Ignis snoring (and she incorporated it into her headcanons 8D). Based on my husband because I never get any fucking sleep if he falls asleep first.

This had to stop.  Noct couldn’t take another night of Ignis’ snoring.

They’d been camping the past four days, and Noctis didn’t know if it was because Ignis wasn’t supported enough by the bedrolls or something else, but it was absolutely hellish to share the tent with him because he _snored like a behemoth._

“Gladio.  For gods’ sakes.  Can’t you do something about it?”  Noctis attempted to stoke the fire back to life as he glowered up at the Shield.  “He’s _your_ boyfriend.”

Gladio smirked as he settled back into the camp chair, tucking his hands behind his head.  He’d gotten up to take a leak and had found the prince sitting by the fire, glowering at it as if it was the cause for all of his troubles.  Finding out that Noct was awake because Ignis was snoring was way more amusing to him than it should have been.

“I could,” Gladio said easily, “but I don’t think you and Prompto would wanna hear it.”

There was a beat as Noctis turned it over and then he realized what Gladio was implying.  He winced, dropping his head into his hands.  “No,” he pleaded weakly.  “Please, not in the tent.  Please.”

The buff man let out a snort and gave Noctis the driest smirk he could manage.  “You act like we haven’t before.”  At Noct’s horrified look, Gladio’s chuckles broke out into peals of laughter.  “Yeah, all those ‘supply runs’ we send you on?”

_“For fuck’s sake,”_ Noctis hissed like he was in pain.

Gladio’s laughter dragged Prompto from the tent, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion.  “Ugh,” the blond whined.  “I’d tell you to shut up so I can sleep, but Ignis’ snoring is keeping me up anyways.”  He flopped into his chair, his hands raking through his hair in frustration.  “How do you _sleep_ with him, Gladio?”

Another raucous laugh from Gladio.  “You really want the details?”

Prompto winced and shook his head.  “No.   _Please,_ no.  I don’t want to know what you two do.”

Gladio chuckled, but it died off as he yawned and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  “Yeah.  It’s not every night, but when he does, Iggy fucking snores like a beast.”

“But he doesn’t believe it,” Prompto whined.

It was true.  They’d all confronted Ignis about it a few days prior, but the man had simply scowled and wagged his spatula at them.  “ _I do not snore,”_ he snapped, sending a flick of beaten eggs to the ground.  “You’re imagining whatever you’re hearing.  I’m sure it’s an Anak that’s been prowling around the havens.”

The other three gave each other a _look_ and raised their eyebrows.  All three of them had clearly heard it - hell, this hadn’t even been the first time that Gladio had mentioned it to Ignis - but the tawny-haired man was just too stubborn to hear it.

But that was going to change tonight.  Noctis pulled out his phone and gestured it towards the tent.  “If he doesn’t believe us,” the prince said, “why don’t we show him some proof?”

Slow smirks spread across each of their faces.

…

Ignis shifted against the bedroll and he arched slightly.  The sun was just beginning to rise, and he needed to get up and make breakfast.  He reached for his glasses and was surprised when he found that he had enough room to stretch out.  A quick glance around showed that the tent was empty.  Ignis arched an eyebrow and glanced around, not finding any immediate answer as to why the others weren’t there.

Hmm.  He’d have to solve that in due time.  Quickly he dressed and headed outside.

…only to find the others all waiting for him.  They stood in a line, arms crossed as they stared at Ignis and identical smirks on their faces.

“Morning,” Prompto said, his cheerful voice hiding a sharp edge to it.  “Sleep well?”

Ignis quirked his brow and looked between the three of them with a little trepidation.  “I did,” he said slowly.

“Oh, good to know.”  Gladio tilted his head and smirked.  “There was a huge monster prowling around here last night, so we didn’t sleep.”

The adviser’s eyes hardened.  “A monster?” he repeated.  “Why didn’t you alert me?”

Noct waved his hand dismissively.  “It didn’t come too close, so we weren’t worried.  Thought we’d let you sleep.  But we did get a recording of it, in case it comes back.”

“I see.”  Ignis adjusted his glasses and frowned.  “I’d best take a look, then.”  A chuckle escaped his lips.  “Maybe I can craft a new recipe if we catch it.”

The other three glanced between each other and their smirks widened; Prompto bit back a snicker.  “Sure,” Gladio said amiably.  “Go for it.”

Noctis tapped at the screen of his phone for a few moments before turning the screen around so Ignis could see.  It was completely dark, though he wasn’t surprised by that.  It had been late, after all.  But after only a moment, he could hear a horrible noise tearing through the recording; it was so loud that the sound crackled as the audio levels peaked.  Ignis winced and barely managed to suppress the urge to cover his ears.

“Good heavens,” he said, glancing at the other men.  “He’s a fearsome beast, isn’t he?”  The noise sounded loud now, but almost pinched and wheezing, and the rattling noise made him wrack his brain.  What creature made such a noise?

The cacophony continued for about thirty seconds and Ignis shook his head.  “We’ll have to be careful,” he said sternly.  “If the monsters are getting this close to camp, we may need to take turns taking watch.”

“ _Think he’ll believe us now?”_  Prompto’s voice came out of the phone, and Ignis froze.

“ _Heh, wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t.”_ That was Gladio’s voice…?  “ _He’s damn stubborn.”_ Oh god, that horrible noise again.

Noct’s face suddenly came into view, and he looked utterly exhausted.  “ _So.  It’s 2:26 a.m., and none of us are sleeping.”_  The tearing noise got even louder.  “ _Well, at least one of us is getting some sleep.  That’s you snoring, Specs.”_

Ignis went dead silent and his face turned bright red.  Oh _gods_.  No, this couldn’t be true.   _He couldn’t be the one making that terrible noise, could he?_

He could hear Gladio and Prompto chortling from somewhere behind the camera, and his blush darkened.  It was _true_ , and everyone else was hearing it.  Ignis buried his face in his hands and groaned.

_“Sleep sweet, Specs.”_  Noctis’ voice was dry.   _“You’re driving tomorrow.”_  The recording ended with the sound of Noctis shuffling around and shutting off the phone.

An awkward silence hung between the group as Ignis slowly sank into his camping chair, his hands covering his face in complete shame.  There was a long moment before Prompto excitedly spoke up.  “So!  Believe us now, Ignis?  You sound like a chainsaw.”

Ignis moaned like someone had kicked him, and Gladio bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing aloud.  Oh god, Ignis looked like he wanted the earth to open up and swallow him.  His face was bright red, and Gladio was utterly enamored with it.  He resolved to do everything within his power to make Ignis blush like that again sometime.

“…perhaps…”  Ignis’ voice came from between his fingers.  “…we should consider finding a motel.  I believe I…”  Awkwardly he cleared his throat.  “…sleep better in a real bed.”

Prompto frowned as he considered their location.  “But the only place we can get to any kind of soon is Galdin Quay,” he said as he crossed his arms.  “That’s pretty expensive, isn’t it - ”

“ _I don’t care_ ,” Ignis snapped, his face turning even redder.  “Let’s pack up and hit the road, _now_.”  He stood and stalked towards the tent, and oh gods even his ears were turning red.  Gladio grinned wickedly to himself as he jogged to catch up.

“I almost feel kinda bad,” Prompto sighed as he slung his arm around Noctis.  “I mean, Iggy looks real embarrassed.”

“I don’t,” Noctis grumped in return.  “I’d like to actually get some _sleep_ tonight.”

Ignis aggressively folded up his bedroll, face still burning.  Gods, he was absolutely mortified.  How had he never known?  Why hadn’t he believed them sooner?

He heard the tent unzipping from behind him and wasn’t surprised when Gladio got his arms around him.  “Gods, you’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”  He could tell that the bulkier man was grinning and Ignis scowled harder.  “Aww, don’t be like that.  We couldn’t think of another way to get you to believe us.”  Gladio leaned in, his scruff brushing Ignis’ cheek as he pressed a kiss to his ear.  “Besides…”  His voice was a low purr.  “Now that we’re gonna have a little privacy, I think I can get you to sleep so hard that you won’t snore.”  A large hand drew itself up Ignis’ thigh before dancing up his body, tracing up his torso before finally settling on his chin and drawing him back for a brief but heated kiss.

“You’d better,” Ignis mumbled in return, a small smirk of his own crossing his face.  “Otherwise you’re going to be up all night again.”

Gladio chuckled before giving him another searing kiss.  “Pretty sure if we have it my way, we will be anyway.”


End file.
